VISITS

When am I allowed to visit?

 

  • Typically visits are allowed after six weeks but this is often dependent on the student’s progress. You would have been notified via the family group of the first date for a visit – if you are unsure please contact the office directly.

 

What are the rules for visiting TLC students?

 

  • If approved a TLC student may receive a one (1) hour supervised.
  • You MUST arrange with the office for a timeslot as we need to allocate a staff member to each visit.   Please note that we only have staff to supervise in English or Afrikaans so we ask that you keep to these languages for all discussions.  Please give us your support if the person that supervises decides to stop the visit.  It is for the students and your own emotional wellbeing.
  • You may attend church. Unfortunately, he/she may not sit with you during the church service.  Church starts at 9:00 and typically lasts 1 – 1.5 hours.
  • Strictly no smoking on the premises.
  • You may bring the Student snacks, take-aways or a picnic. Obviously, alcohol is not allowed but you can bring any sort of beverages with you. However, whatever you do bring with you (including sweets and desserts) must be consumed during the visit or it must be returned with you.
  • Please do not bring any groceries in as these will be confiscated and the student who tries to take them to his/her room will have to face consequences for smuggling.
  • Always stay within defined visitation area’s. Dormitories are strictly off-limits to safeguard student’s privacy.
  • We request that you complete a student visit evaluation and give us some feedback on how the visit was https://www.cognitoforms.com/HR44/studentvisitevaluationform
  • We have the right to ask any visitor to leave HR premises if the rules are not abided to.
  • If a student breaks the visitation rules, they will face a contact ban (that includes visits) for a period as determined by management.

 

What about visiting Top House students?

 

  • You may attend church with the Student. He/she may sit with you during the church service.  Church starts at 9:00 and typically lasts 1 – 1.5 hours.
  • You may visit with the Student from after church until 15:55 on Sunday afternoon. Visitors leave the premises at 16:00 at the latest.
  • Strictly no smoking on the premises.
  • You must please stick to designated visiting areas.
  • You may bring the Student snacks, take-aways or even arrange for a braai (let us know and we will book you one of the braais). Obviously, alcohol is not allowed but you can bring any sort of beverages with you.  However, whatever you do bring with you (including sweats and deserts) must be consumed before 16:00 or it must be returned with you.
  • If you are visiting but not providing lunch please advise the front desk so they can arrange to keep lunch for the student.
  • Other students may not visit with you – this is a time for your family to reconcile and to strengthen relationships.
  • Please do not bring any groceries in as these will be confiscated and the Student who tries to take this to his/her room will have to face consequences for smuggling.
  • We request that you complete a student visit evaluation and give us some feedback on how the visit was. https://www.cognitoforms.com/HR44/studentvisitevaluationform

 

What are the general rules for onsite visits?

 

  • The Student may at no point in time have access to or have a phone in their possession. Please do not allow the Student to use your phone to make calls, access their social media profiles or to play games.  If you feel a telephone call to family members is allowed/required, please dial the number and put the phone on speakerphone for the duration of the call.  Do not allow the Student to phone or make contact with friends from their previous lives (before their recovery program started).  Also, be very careful as even family members may have been involved with or part of their addictive habits.
  • No access to Social Media is allowed – this is very dangerous! Even if the Students have the best intent, friends still engaged with old habits can trigger a craving or a relapse.
  • The Student may not have access to a Phone or Laptop. They may not sit and play games, as gaming is also an addictive behaviour.  It also isolates them from the rest of the family and the aim of the visit/exit is to re-establish a family bond.
  • The Student must spend this time interacting with their family. No isolating behaviour, playing games, spending time alone listing to music.
  • The Student must always remain on the premises and under supervision.
  • The Student is not allowed to have cash in their possession. The Student is not allowed cash at House Regeneration so please let us know if they do try and obtain cash from you or any other family member. If they request cash immediately report it to a Staff Member and include it in the online evaluation form.
  • Smoking is strictly prohibited. House Regeneration believes that Cigarettes are just another addiction.  We break this habit within the initial few weeks of the Student entering the program.  Be sensitive not to tempt the Student.
  • You will be forwarded the link to complete a Student Visit Evaluation on a Monday morning following your visit. It is important for you to be as honest as possible.  Students will try to manipulate you and ask you to give all positive feedback as they claim to receive punishment.  This is not true!  Your feedback is valuable and we use it as input for counselling, identifying when we believe a Student to be a possible flight risk and for Management to assess the progress that the student has made to date.
  • If the Student tries to convince you to take them out/run away, shows any form of aggression or severe manipulation, please notify us immediately. The length of the visit is in your hands.  If the Student is not adjusting or fitting in with your plans, please immediately terminate the visit.  Remember this is a privilege, not a right. You are accommodating the Student and they should not manipulate you in any way or form!
  • WARNING: There are 5 typical lies that Students will use to try and manipulate you – do not fall for this:
  1. I am not as bad as the other’s here, I don’t need long term treatment
  2. I have been clean before on my own, I can do it again
  3. I have thrown away so much time already – I cannot waste more time on the program
  4. I feel strong – I will never do drugs again
  5. I must go take care of my responsibilities i.e. work, kids or finances
  • Be prepared! The Student will complain that the program is to strict, that they don’t like the meals or even that he is being picked on. This is quite normal as an addict typically comes from an unstructured environment and will not easily accept an environment where he is held accountable and where he/she needs to work.  If you however feel that there is some merit in the complaints – please don’t hesitate to contact the office or to mention it in your evaluation feedback.  Staff members will never penalise your child for exposing the truth – we believe in walking in the light so would appreciate feedback and having an open communication channel between HR and the parent.
  • Most importantly enjoy yourself. This is a time for reconciliation so where possible please do not reproach or condemn the Student about past behaviour.  Allow them to interact with you and to show you their growth.  If you as a parent feel the need for counselling or advice, please contact the office and we can assist you with the options available.

 

What are the rules for Sunday and Weekend exits?

 

The following rules are a guideline for our parents when taking the Students for a Sunday or Weekend out:

 

  • The Student may at no point in time have access to or have a phone in their possession. Please do not allow the Student to use your phone to make calls, access their social media profiles or to play games.  If you feel a telephone call to family members is allowed/required, please dial the number and put the phone on speakerphone for the duration of the call.  Do not allow the Student to phone or make contact with friends from their previous lives (before their recovery program started).  Also, be very careful as even family members may have been involved with or part of their addictive habits.
  • No access to Social Media is allowed – this is very dangerous! Even if the Students have the best intent, friends still engaged with old habits can trigger a craving or a relapse.
  • The Student may not have access to a Phone, Laptop, Xbox or PlayStation. They may not sit and play games, as gaming is also an addictive behaviour.  It also isolates them from the rest of the family and the aim of the visit/exit is to re-establish a family bond.
  • The Student must spend this time interacting with their family. No isolating behaviour, playing games, spending time alone listing to music or hours of watching television is allowed.
  • The Student must be under supervision at all times.
  • Please be vigilant and do not allow the Student to go to a Mall/Shopping Centre, Movie House or Public Bathroom on their own. These are all dangerous areas where drugs are easily obtainable.
  • If you do allow the Student some Movie/TV time, you need to select the programming. It should be Christian based where possible but if this is not an option be aware that movies may contain scenes that can trigger a craving for drugs.  Also, guard against violence, sex and explicit language.
  • We teach Biblical Principles to all our Students but we do need the Sponsor/Parent to cooperate with us in maintaining these principles. Please do not allow the Student to sleepover at a Girlfriend/Boyfriend’s house as sex outside of marriage is strictly against our policies and it is very destructive behaviour.
  • If you want to take the Student out for a meal to a restaurant, do not let the Student dictate the place or the price. They must have an attitude of gratitude.  This means not inconveniencing the family by insisting to go to a place they want or by putting you on the spot by ordering the most expensive meal.
  • The Student follows a strict routine at HR. We know that it is not always possible to keep to the same time schedule but the Student should continue with Bible Study/Quiet time, preferably in the mornings.  They should not sleep the day away but must contribute to the family activities, i.e. washing dishes, other chores or assisting with any duties that need to be done around the house.
  • The Student is not allowed to have cash in their possession. Having cash creates access to activities/substances that should be avoided and the temptation there off can lead to a relapse.  The Student is not allowed cash at House Regeneration so please let us know if they do try and obtain cash from you or any other family member.
  • Smoking is strictly prohibited. House Regeneration believes that Cigarettes are just another addiction.  We break this habit within the initial few weeks of the Student entering the program.  Be sensitive not to tempt the Student, so please try to avoid smoking areas in restaurants or even smoking in front of the Student where possible.
  • Please do not let the Student use alcohol on his/her Weekend/Sunday out. Alcohol lowers one’s inhibitions and impairs judgement thus it will increase the chances of a relapse exponentially.  Students could be tested for both Alcohol and Smoking on their return
  • Pornography is another very addictive and destructive behaviour. Please supervise all reading material and TV programmes.  As previously mentioned, access to Phones, Laptops or any other source of Internet Access is strictly prohibited.
  • On your return, you will be asked to complete a Student Visit Evaluation. It is important for you to be as honest as possible.  Students will try to manipulate you and ask you to give all positive feedback as they claim to receive punishment.  This is not true!  Your feedback is valuable and we use it as input for counselling, identifying when we believe a Student to be a possible flight risk and for Management to assess the progress that the Student has made to date.
  • If the Student tries to run away, shows any form of aggression or severe manipulation, please notify us immediately. The length of the visit is in your hands.  If the Student is not adjusting or fitting in with your plans they may be returned to the facility at any point in time.  You are accommodating the Student and they should not manipulate you in any way or form!